An Interview With My Friend, Daryl Wills

Daryl and me dominating corn-hole. 

When we were young kids, I’d spend the night at my aunt and uncle’s house where my cousin, Daryl, occupied a bedroom. He had it all in that room. Marbles, Hot Wheels, a Jimmy “Dy-no-mite!” Walker hat, trucks, markers, colors, Coleco handheld video games, a ball of wadded up bubblegum, and the only copy of the “Guinness Book of World Records” I knew of at the time. I’d spend a lot of time in that room and at his house over the decades, playing pool, ping pong, Nerf hoops, and later, quarters. Lots of quarters. We did everything and went everywhere together, mostly because I was always just showing up to tag along, and he let me.   

I’ve known Daryl pretty much since my Day 1. Our moms are siblings. We went to the same elementary, middle, and high schools before going to the same college. We rode to school together. Ate countless meals together. Went to the same holiday family gatherings. Recorded radio shows we wrote and produced. We were in each other’s weddings. And we fought against and alongside each other like brothers do. Today, Daryl is married to his college sweetheart and soulmate, has a wonderful daughter in high school, and is about as well-known and well-liked in the small town we both live in as anyone I know. Here’s our interview.  

Q: So, you and I are first cousins. Our moms are sisters. We literally grew up next to each other. We both say it, but we’re more like brothers and all that entails. You’re also two years older than me. It feels for me like I always knew you, but when do you feel you started to view me less as a tag-along younger pest and more as a peer? 

I would probably have to say the night we got into an argument while driving my car around. I can't even remember what it was about, but that day you stood up to me and held your own ground. I kind of saw myself as the person that made all our decisions, but at that point, I think I started to realize that you didn't need me to make your decisions for you. You could do that all on your own. Of course, we didn't stay mad at each other for very long, either. That was the good thing about our friendship/cousin/brother vibe we have.  

Side question: Give me a serious estimate of how many ice cream Drumsticks, Dolly Madison cakes, and other food your dad fronted me over the years?  

Wow, that is a tough one. I am pretty sure that my dad really only bought them for you. He certainly didn't buy them for me before you guys lived across the yard. In fact, I think he actually said he “got these for Blaine” or something like that. Maybe I made that up in my head, but it sure seemed that way. I am going to guess one box every couple of weeks every summer for a couple of years. We should have bought stock in them during that time. 

Q: I don't know of anyone who has a bad word to say about you. You don't really give people much reason to generally. In high school, you were always the guy trying to put out fights, and you’d get mad at the guys fighting when they didn’t listen. Where do you feel your ability to get along with so many types of people so easily comes from? It’s kind of a lost art .   

Funny thing about that, when I started taking those tests that tell you about yourself in school for job interviews, I always landed as a mediator. Jobs that would be good for me were a manager, interpreter, and minister. I never landed any of those jobs, but I always wondered what they had in common. I think it is because I always disliked conflict, to the point I tried to avoid it as much as I could. I didn't like seeing my friends fight, and I certainly didn't like fighting myself.  

I remember a fight I had with a neighbor of mine at school. Later, we would become really good friends, but that day, it was me and him on the school grounds throwing punches and kicks. Well, he was punching and I only threw one kick. You can imagine the one type of kick a guy could do to another guy that would stop a fight. We were friends at the time, too. I remember the teacher taking us up to the principal's office. Mrs. Kucera was there at the time. One of the most underrated communicators of the time. She knew how to get under all the junk and figure out what was eating at us. She knew we were friends, and when we came out of that office, we were friends again. I have always looked back at the time in my life and tried to remember what she said to us about how things should never go too far. That we always had each other’s back, and that friendships can last a lifetime. I guess that is kind of where it started, I would assume. 

Q: We share a lot of things in common, but we’re pretty different in a lot of ways. What kind of traits are you looking for in the people who form your inner circle, and how do you think we’re most similar and most different?  

Kind, compassionate people are those that I like to spend my time with. People that look out for each other no matter what the situation. I like to think I have a lot of friends, but more importantly, friends that would have my back. I am also not going to say that I have been the greatest of friends to all that I have met, but one of the things that has always bothered me is when someone doesn't like me without a good reason. I am sure in their mind it was for a good reason, and I can look back on that and understand, but I guess maybe I am too sensitive about it. I hear the phrase all the time that “not everyone is going to like you.” I hated that because I always wanted them to. 

Our similarities are we shared the same childhood really. Like you said earlier, we were more like brothers, and since we spent so much time together, it really felt like that. The things that brothers do. They stand up for you. Like during a softball game once, I was confronted by a much larger player at home plate. When he walked up to me face-to-face, you were the first person there, followed by all my other close friends. That is what we do; we take care of our own.  

We both like music, although your grasp on it is much more far reaching and deeper. I just like to listen and enjoy. You got me hooked on a few bands that I never would have even heard of or thought to listen to. We both love basketball and most sports I would think. We both love our kids more than they will ever know. 

Our differences, besides your imposing 6.1-foot, 195-pound frame and my 5.8-foot and much smaller frame, I can only think of a few. You are much more of a thinker than I could ever imagine being. I like to call myself a surface thinker. Most of the time, I can't figure things out beyond what I see. You can delve deep into things and get the meaning that is was supposed to convey. Just not my strong point. I think you handle adversity in such a way that it makes me jealous. I worry so much about everything, and you go with the flow, or at least that is how it seems. I am not a risk taker, as I have pointed out, and you seem to take on a challenge at every turn. I like that about you. 

Q: You were always a good artist, winning major awards in high school for various works. You have an art degree, you’ve illustrated a children's book,  your wife is an art teacher, and your daughter is a talented artist. First, how has art enriched your life in real-world ways, and second, what is it about an artists that attracts him/her to other artists?   

Art is funny thing, how it entangles you in it. I will go days, months, even years without it, but when I get a project that I like, it just brings out all the creative juices. I will stay up until the wee hours trying to finish something out and even the next day doing the same thing. It can control you, make you mad, and then sad in the next instance. It helps move your mind in ways other things can't. Hard to explain, but you are creative, as well, so you know what I am talking about. 

Artists are like-minded individuals who share a compassion for one thing, which is keeping our minds from going crazy. Being creative is therapy in the best way. When I was younger, when I really needed something or couldn't figure something out, I always had a creative outlet. Not just drawing, but painting and the usual stuff that you think of. 

A funny story is when I was little, I had a Big Jim action figure. Now, Big Jim only had a limited amount of clothing options. I really wanted him to have some other options. I thought, ‘Why couldn't I make my own clothes for him?’ My mom gave me some pointers and a big purple bedspread, and I began making him clothes. How many 10-year-old boys were going to do that? It was creative; it got me thinking in different ways, and, man, I got pretty good at sewing. Outside-of-the-box thinkers are where creative people are. I just hope that my daughter keeps that in her back pocket as she gets older and moves on with her life. She has a lot of it in her right now. 

Q: We come from a pretty big extended family. 1970s and 1980s. Lots of cousins. Aunts who gossiped while drinking coffee at the kitchen table. Card parties. Big holiday gatherings. Lots of laughs and memories. You’re now also close with your extended family and your wife’s. Describe the image that forms in your mind when you think about our childhood years and our extended family, and then tell me about the importance your extended families hold for you now.  

I can remember all the times we spent camping, which by the way, I don't do now, probably because I’m afraid I wouldn't know how to start. 

We did all sorts of things as relatives. We all camped, fished, played Spoons, Pitch, lawn darts (who knew it was dangerous then?). I remember our Christmas get-togethers at the Legion Hall. Man, our families made the best food. Aunt Gloria's taco salad was to die for. They all could make Frosty's and Ribbles. 

Maybe one of the best memories is getting my haircut by my Aunt Margie. She had the most infectious laugh in the world. She would always try and make me laugh and would always end up calling me “Farreltine.” It was her moniker for me, and I wore it proudly. I sure miss her a lot. I don't think there was a person on this planet that didn't have a love for her. 

Q: We grew up in a small town, just 2,000 or so people, but also in a neighborhood that was teeming with kids our age. Dozens and dozens of kids. Among other things, that meant we played a lot of games. Tell me your top three all-time neighborhood games?  

1. 
   
2. Bloody Bucket. Always a great game for the new kid who didn't know the rules. One person at the one end, the rest of the kids at the other. You kick the ball to the single person, and then he had to run and try to get by all of you. Thus, the name Bloody Bucket. 

2. 
   
3. Racketball. Baseball in the tennis courts using the tennis racket and tennis ball as a bat and baseball. All kinds of rules, like if you hit it over a certain area it was automatically a home run. If you hit it out anywhere else, it was considered an out or a strike. Not sure all the rules, but, man, it was fun. 

3. 
   
4. Pickup Baseball (in Wiggenhorn Park). Played on the other side of the tennis courts. It was a marvelous game we played, and not because it was baseball, but because we all shared one thing in common, we needed at least one ball and one bat. We would have a telephone calling circle to make sure we had enough people to play. We even had to use somebody’s little brother once in a while to make the teams even. “Sandlot” had nothing on us. I had this gold aluminum bat that everyone liked using. The hard part really was finding baseballs to use. I remember how we would end games sometimes when it was really hot and we wanted to go swimming. You had to hit the ball into the pool. Depending on the person, it could be easy or hard, but when we saw it launch up high and over the hill and splash, we knew it was game over. Of course, we always got in trouble for it, and I’m not sure if we got the ball back or not.
5. 
   
6. I have to put one more in here. Kendel Heights vs East Side tackle football. This is where the legend of Danny Doggett was born. 

Bonus Question: Tell me about working at the Ashland city swimming pool and the summertime swimming culture that develops over three months, both for lifeguards and kids who are there from open to close.  

Wow, swimming was huge in Kendel Heights. If you weren't at the pool, four things were happening: You were sick, out of town, grounded, or had a baseball game that day. Nobody swam during baseball game day. You could only go to the pool and wade in the water. Do you know how hard that was for a 10- to 12-year-old kid to do? Almost impossible, but our coaches ingrained it into our brains. “If you swim, you will be too tired.” ‘Nuff said. 

Being a lifeguard was one of my fondest memories growing up in Kendel Heights. Those friendships with the guards still hold a place in my heart. I actually worked there six years as a guard and assistant manager. While I was there, it was run like tight ship. It was important to us that we were in charge of all those kids, and we wanted to be sure they left the pool the same way them came in. We saw many slight injuries, but never anything serious, and I attribute that to great managers and teachers that I had while working there. I remember some days it would be pouring down rain, and people were calling to ask when we would be open. I guess when it stops raining. When it did rain, we would settle in for a game of cards until it stopped or until we decided it was time to stop. I love those days. 

Q: We shot tens of thousands of baskets on your driveway at the hoop bolted above your garage. Hundreds and hundreds of hours. Countless kids played PIG, HORSE, 21, Around The World, Knockout, One-On-One, and more on that driveway. You and I, though, probably spent as much time talking about life and waiting for the next car to pass by and hopefully stop. You still play occasionally at 55, and you know everything about every college and pro player. What does basketball mean to you in a big-world, philosophical way?    

Yes, I still try and play pickup ball at the high school. I can't get it out of my blood. When I was a kid, it was my getaway from life. I think your mom and dad and every other neighbor we had, like the Linders, probably hated me for a while. When I had a problem, I could always fall back to my hoop for the answer. If I had girl problems, I would just go shoot until it didn't matter anymore. If my dad and I were having a spat or two, I would go grab you and beat the tar out of you at one-on-one. You don't know how much you helped me through a lot of issues in my life at that time. That time in my life was rough, but I always had that hoop to talk to when I needed it. You would have thought I would have been a better player with all that work. 

Q: You're an avid and well-versed sci-fi fan. You really know your stuff. Give people three sci-fi series and one sci-fi movie they should stream while riding out this isolation.

Series: 

1. X-Files 

2. Buffy The Vampire Slayer 

3. The Magicians 
4. 
   

My favorite would be “The X-Files.” I think it is still on Netflix. And if “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” is still on there, that would be my next one. Those two were great, and they really touched on real-world issues at the time. Plus, Buffy was like a John Hughes kind of movie. High school kids dealing with one parent homes, drug abuse, too popular to like, but you add in a Hellmouth, vampires, and werewolves and you have a great series. Now, the movie was OK. If it wasn't for Paul Reubens’ character, though, I might not have liked it.  

The last would be “The Magicians” on the SyFy channel. They just finished up the fifth and final season. I was sad to see it go. The character development was amazing, and they tackled some serious issues and continued as a show to fight suicide in their episodes. It has become one of my favorites. Try it out. You might like it. 

Movie: 

“The Descent” 

It is a cross between sci-fi and horror, but I always like movies that could possibly happen. It can be gruesome at times, and really scary. Jump-out-of-your-seat scary, but if you like a good scare and don't mind the blood, it is really good. 

Q: You’re a long-time REM fan and a fan of music in general. Tell me the REM song you dislike the most and why, your favorite REM member and why, and the REM album that you’d give to the proverbial guy stuck on a desert island to listen to for the rest of his days.  

For me, it would be "Orange Crush." Mostly, I just didn't like the whole song’s vibe. It wasn't catchy, just repetitive, which I just didn't like it. Now, the message about Vietnam was real, and that part I got. But for pure REM music, give me “Driver 8” all day long. 

My favorite will always be Michael Stipe. Dude was in a band and couldn't even sing. Now, he got much better as time wore on, but I struggled to understand about a third of what he was saying. That had to be hard for the band, to have a guy who was so gifted in writing lyrics, but mumbled through most of it. He was a banner for controversy and standing up for rights of the people. He was looking out for them. See a pattern here. An artist that had compassion for people and wanted to help them. Plus, the song, “It's The End Of The World As We Know It,” hits pretty close to home right now. 

The desert island album is really tough because I really like “Life’s Rich Pageant” and “Fables of the Reconstruction,” but I would have to go with “Automatic For The People.” I really like how this album flows, and a couple of my favorites are on there. “Man On The Moon,” “Night Swimming,” and, of course, “Everybody Hurts.” I think Michael is at his best when singing “Everybody Hurts.” 

Q: Final question, what's the best and worst part about knowing me? 

Dude, I don't think you have a worst part. Worst part is your wardrobe. I have always been jealous of what you wear. I know, weird right? But you always have the coolest clothes, shoes, tattoos, hats, and you wear them well. A man with a good wardrobe can go far these days. Ha! 

Best part is you are always looking out for people. I mean, you don't forget about people. When people are hurting or having difficult times in their journey, you reach out to them. You have such a great concern for other people’s lives, and that I commend you for. You have touched so many lives, you can't imagine, my life included. 

Glad you have you in my life, brother, and I mean that.